The Kairos Global Summit was this past weekend and it was an amazing opportunity to get to know and work with some insanely talented young people from around the world. I was so impressed by the depth of the Fellow pool in terms of cause space’s, areas of expertise, geographic locations, and levels of experience. With putting 350+ predominately A-type personalities in a room with a bunch of mentors and potential funders comes some accepted risks. We are, by-and-large, willing to fight for what we want. Overall the conference was amazing and I want to thank all of the people who put huge amounts of time and effort into making it a blast. Who else gets to party on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange with Madeon DJ-ing while surrounded by some of the best entrepreneurs in the world?

All compliments aside, what I was most disappointed by was the domineering nature of some of the participants. While most people relished the opportunity to collaborate, some people were more focused on making sure that their ideas were center stage – even if they were not the best of the session.

For me this came to a head when we were broken into groups of six and given 15 minutes to come up with and create a pitch for a early-dectection medical device. Kairos Fellows are no novices when it comes to pitching so that wasn’t the source of conflict in our group. Instead, it was the coming up with the idea part. We had six people and six drastically different ideas. As we edited, tweaked, molded, and combined them, a certain member of the group was intent on being the loudest, speaking the most, and controlling the conversations. This distracted the team and slowed down our process.

Now, I am not the most filtered human being. I may be one of the least. I am not very good at thinking through what I say before I say it – typically the words come out and I am left thinking “What the hell did I just say?” This can be a good thing and a bad thing. It this specific situation it was most definitely good for the team but embarrassing for the individual.

Here’s what happened when this distracting individual insisted on talking over a girl in our group who was trying to clarify a key point in our pitch:

Rude Guy: blah blah blah blah (x1,000,000)

Me: Look at me

Rude Guy: blah blah blah

Me: Look at me (slightly louder)

Rude Guy: blah blah

Me: Look at me (really loudly, he finally shuts up and looks at me). Stop talking and let this girl speak.

RESULT: He didn’t speak for the rest of the session. It was great.

What was even better was that I completely forgot about telling him off until that night when a young man who had been in our group told me it was “totally fierce and deserved” and that I was a “badass.” Talk about validation!

What it comes down to is that bruising someones ego a little is, in many situations, necessary. Especially if less direct approaches have not worked. Being an entrepreneur, running a business, and being recognized for it at a young age does not give someone the right to be rude to their peers, especially when those peers have similar levels of expertise and experience. Just because someone is loud and pushy does not mean that they should be permitted to domineer what could be an awesome learning opportunity. Yes, my direct approach was not the most polite, but more polite attempts had failed.

Be kind, welcoming, and fierce – you will see that rather than turning off the people around you, like our Mr. Loudmouth did, you will be rewarded with amazing connections and a wealth of inspiration.