I am an INTJ. When did the Myers Briggs test when I was 15 I was an INFP so clearly a lot has changed since then. INTJ breaks down into introverted, intuitive (N), thinking, and judging. These traits often mean that someone prefers one-on-one social situations, likes plans and agendas, and has strong opinions.

Someone’s Myers Briggs result is not the end-all be-all in life but it does highlight interesting stuff. It also provides a reason as to why I hate ‘networking’. Which is funny because I do a lot of things that you do for networking like going to conferences, summits, events, etc. By and large I find them draining, stressful, and annoying. I am that kid who dresses up like what she thinks an adult should look like and hides in the corner reading a book during the ‘networking’ sections of conferences. They are my worst nightmare.

You see, I have realized that I could force myself to do them but you spend all this time schmoozing with people and for what? One out of every 10 people you gave your card emails you the next day? One out of every 50 actually produces a meaningful partnership?

What I propose, and what I enjoy, are small curated get togethers where you can sit down over dinner rather than stand in a florescently lighted hall. Networking shouldn’t be a negative word. The problem is that networking has become associated with creating this vague and confusing category called ‘connections’. Networking should be about creating meaningful bonds that you will take the time to nurture rather than about throwing your cards to the masses.

My INTJ diagnosis bias’ me against traditional networking but I don’t think it is just me who feels this way. Just last Sunday I was invited to hang out with a group of about 10 young entrepreneurs, only two of whom I knew, at a friends apartment. In true young entrepreneur fashion, the party would start at 9:45pm but many people didn’t show up until midnight. I almost didn’t go because I was exhausted but I bucked up, changed back out of my PJ’s, and made my way to Columbus Circle. It was epic! A group of young entrepreneurs in a room discussing barriers to entry for womenand to what extent tech is a meritocracy. When I left all I could think is “What world do I live in where that is normal?” Rather than spending 1 hour talking to 20 people and burning out, I spent 4 hours (till 2am) talking to 10 people and left feeling inspired.

As I look forward to heading to Austin, TX for SXSW later this week I am nervous about all of the things that my INTJ self will not like. However, I am so excited to get together in small groups with both old friends and new ones and actually get to know each other. I will focus on building bonds and friendships instead of connections, will get super tan, and be inspired by some of the best in the biz.