When my Chase Sapphire Preferred (Ohh Fancy!) arrived I did not know how to feel. Do you jump up and down in joy and go out and buy a purse? Do you stress about the debt that you know will forever more be weighing you down? Unsure, I put all the pieces of paper and brochures back into the envelope along with the card and hid it under a stack of old Time Out’s on my desk.

Today we grow up with a very polarized view of credit cards. On one hand they are the key to living a life of opulence. On the other hand they can drive an irresponsible shopper into bankruptcy. The reality is that I need a credit card. I buy things and travel and don’t like to carry a wad of cash around New York City. Between buying flights and getting a new computer my debit card stopped cutting it around my senior year in high school. I pay it off almost in full each month (who knew you had to carry debt to get good credit?) and am very careful not to use it recklessly.

It wasn’t until I started planning my recent trip to Amsterdam that I realized that my card wasn’t doing enough. The limit was, in the most obvious way possible, limiting. After some investigation I found out that the average college student’s first credit card only has a $500-$1000 limit. I was already spoiled. I have an income but even so, how was I going to get a bank to give me even more money? Turned out that it was very simple. I walked into my bank, said I wanted a card that could be used abroad without racking up a pile of fees, stated my income, and two weeks later found an envelope at my doorstep.

And here I am. Sitting at my desk. Digging the envelope out of the pile of Time Out’s (which is a bit bigger than before) and staring at this snazzy looking piece of plastic with my name on it. Spending the first dollar on it will be a terror that even the prospect of double points on travel and restaurants will not get me over.

So I sell a piece of my soul and gain mobility, finanical ease, and a bit of freedom. I can buy my flights, use my card all around the world without being welcomed home with a scary bill, and have some left over in case I need emergency funds.

Im not happy with the stress but I am happier than not having that little piece of plastic with my name on it as a safety net. Even so, that Louis Vuitton in the window is tempting.