Why I Chose To Not Stop Wearing Leggings And Instead Expect More Of Men
A blog post is circulating around the internet from a woman who has decided that she will no longer wear leggings or yoga pants in public as they encourage more lust than they are worth. She consulted God, she talked to her husband, and in the end concluded that while spandex itself might be heavenly, the way it makes men look at her is not.
The piece has, for obvious reasons, caused a fair amount of hub-bub, especially among those that feel her post encourages the policing of women’s dressing. While I don’t agree with the author, Veronica Partridge, on much, I don’t believe that she meant it as an attack on women.
I do believe that it opens the door for further censorship of women’s bodies.
Dressing and dress codes are a really contentious subject in the USA right now. On one side, women are embracing their bodies, while on the other side men and male-run institutions are yelling about modesty and “academic dress.” One of their biggest arguments is one that Veronica seems to support – men are prone to lustful and lascivious behavior and need all of the help that they can get keeping their hands to themselves. The “boys will be boys” argument if you will.
Which is, I think, sort of sad. Are men, who run most governments and corporations, so profoundly helpless that the mere outline of my nipple can throw them completely off-kilter and cause horrible results? According to them, they are.
So I get what Partridge is saying. If her husband is so weak that he can’t look at a woman and see more than a pair of leggings, that that’s a pretty big problem. I wonder what a low-cut top or a pair of heels would do to him. Blowouts might also be off of the table. Dresses and skirts are a complete no-go. When the gaping holes at the bottom double as gates into Hell, the phrase “easy access” gains new meaning.
If this is accurate, then not wearing leggings might be a smart safety move. You can carry mace, a tactical flashlight, and a knife, I’ll just stop wearing leggings…or dresses…or tight pants…or heels…and I won’t put on makeup just to be safe. However, I’d like to think more of our men. I am sure that there are some so corrupted by the idea of their own ineptitude that they’re completely unsalvageable, but certainly not all of them are.
There are, I promise you, a few salvageable specimens that can be taught that a spandex covered behind is not to be grabbed, that a sight of cleavage is not an invitation, and that the most attractive part of a woman happens to be her brain.
If we tell our young men that they can’t control themselves, can we really be surprised when they use the same excuse to defend inappropriate, dangerous, and sometimes illegal behavior? If we funnel it into their minds that short skirts are slutty and tank tops are not school appropriate starting in grade school, is it weird that they carry those beliefs into their college dorms and fraternity houses?
Men are not born sexist. They do not come out of the womb believing that they are insatiable creatures of lust who must be restrained by all means. We create that, and we have the ability to stop creating it as well. It is in our power to raise men that, instead of sitting next to their wives nodding along about how hard it is for them to see women in leggings, take ownership of their behavior.
So yes Mrs. Partridge, I understand why you don’t want to wear leggings. We’ve created a society in which the weight is put upon you to keep you’re husband in line, but that’s not fair to you at all. Rather than policing yourself, look to your husband and ask: “How can I help you in keeping your mind out of the gutter without having to censor myself?” Maybe he’ll be up for the challenge. If not, I suggest modifying a pair of sunglasses to block all vision from the ground till about 4 feet high. If he can’t see it, he can’t stare.
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