White friends. Do you need something to do tonight? Go join a protest.

First, draw a really big sign that says “I Can’t Breathe” or “All Lives Matter” on it. Bring the sign with you and use it as a battering ram when pushing through the crowd. Make sure that you’re in the front of the protest line, the closer to the cops the better, because they will not arrest you. Hold your sign up high so that it is impossible to not see you. Yell, scream, and chant. Be the loudest and push the hardest. Make sure that when this goes up on YouTube, you can be seen and your voice can be heard.

Tomorrow, when your work friends ask you why you look exhausted, you want to be able to show them that you stood up. You spoke out. You fought for change.

Don’t worry about the black and brown faces that were covered by the sign you so carefully drew. Don’t worry about the young child who couldn’t see the chant leader because you blocked her view in your urgency to be at the front. Don’t worry that when people see the news, they’ll see your face first, the others blending in with the dusk – a sea of black and brown, barely visible beings against your glaring whiteness.

And when your co-workers look at you doubtfully and ask, “Why are you being interviewed about an issue you aren’t affected by?” stay strong in your conviction. You are an activist. You are changing the world. Who are they to decide what is or is not your cause? You are privileged and you have power.

—BUT—

If you really want to support the cause, if you really want to be an ally, stand in the back. Take cues from those around you. Don’t try to steal the microphone. Defer press and media to the leaders who know the struggle because they live it every day. Respect that while this may be (and should be) a cause that you care about, it isn’t a cause that you own.

As a white woman, I can’t help but think that many of the young white people, who have taken to the streets protesting around the pervasive race-related injustices in this country, need a lesson on what being an “ally” actually entails. Being at the front of the protest line, being the loudest voice on social media, and ensuring that your presence is acknowledged, is just another injustice against those who are fighting to be able to do the things you and I do without fear.

It can be hard sometimes to recognize when we go into overdrive. Taking control is second nature. Having leadership positions is something we are used to. Stages and podiums call to us, asking us to stand upon them and yell battle cries we have neither written nor understand.

Push against this urge and take a step back. Listen, be respectful, and follow the lead of those who are most directly affected. Allow their voices to be heard and their stories to be told. Recognize that while your voice is most often welcome, you should strive to be a member of a chorus, not as a soloist.

Demanding the spotlight is just another way in which we dominate narratives that are not ours to steal. Not only do people of color not get justice in America, they don’t even have the opportunity to speak out about it without having the camera redirected to a whiter face.

Be on the right side of history and push the camera back where it belongs.