Dear Martha and Abigail,

In the spring of 2013, I was spending a rare night out with some friends, including a friend of a friend that I’d never met before. I had been drinking and we had flirted, and even kissed, earlier that night. But when I went off to sleep in the spare bedroom of the apartment we were in and he, also a guest, asked if I wanted a “cuddle buddy,” I responded with what I believed to be a clear and vocal “No.”

When, a while later, I was woken up by him crawling into bed next to me, I again said “No.” And when he started choking me, I struggled, showing “No” through my behavior. As young women, we are taught that there is power inherent in the word no.

Unfortunately, in my case, saying no didn’t work.

After that night, I continued to use the word no. I said no to telling our parents, or you, what had happened. I said no to filing a police report or talking to a therapist about it. I said no to any and all opportunities for support or justice.

Turns out, it doesn’t matter how many hours you’ve spent binge watching “Law & Order: SVU” – going to the cops is terrifying. Almost as terrifying, I discovered, as living with the pain of sexual assault and not telling anyone.

You see, this wasn’t the first time that I was assaulted, but it was the first time that I was confident, in that moment, that what was happening was wrong…

You can read the remainder of this piece, including ways that you can take action, on RYOT.