A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend who say’s he is mostly vegetarian, eating meat less than once a week, due to the environmental, ethical, and political reasons that, when stacked up, create a strong argument against the consumption of animal protein.

As an avid carnivore who likes to consider herself well-versed in the path my meat takes from pasture (I try to go organic free-range whenever possible) to my belly, I left the conversation wondering why, after years of involvement in food production, countless similar conversations, and 6 month stint as a vegan, I have so much trouble giving meat a little less room on my plate.

I made the varsity field hockey team as a freshman in high school. I was never a great field hockey player, lacking strong hand-eye coordination, but I beat everyone in the timed 2-mile by more than a minute and a half. Everyone asked me, as I had been asked for years, why I didn’t just run cross country. I said I wasn’t the type of person who could run just for the sake of running. That I need the external motivation of a defender to beat or a pass to make.

Similarly, I tell myself that I can’t possibly be mostly vegetarian because I am the type of person who just needs meat. I repeat this, like I did with distaste of running, to anyone who asks about my stance on food hoping that at some point the feeling in my gut that I should be more cognizant of my meat consumption will go away.

I ended up doing one season of field hockey before switching to cross country the following fall thanks to a very convincing cross country coach and a field hockey team that wasn’t the nicest. Despite all I had said about not being able to run without outside distractions, I ended up being quite good at it, running in the #2 and #3 positions for all three seasons. It turned out I find a sick pleasure in running in short shorts in 20 degree weather until my legs give out. My senior year, I was a captain.

I didn’t end up joining cross country because people told me too. I did it because something finally clicked in my brain and it started to make sense.

Since talking to my friend about being mostly vegetarian I feel that same transition starting to kick into gear. I don’t need to give up the foods I love entirely but I can, each week as I write my shopping list, replace some of the meat on the menu with alternative proteins and bigger servings of veggies.

When writing the ingredients I need for a quiche I am making tonight, I automatically included ham. Then, after a moment of consideration, replaced it with mushrooms. Bold moves people, bold moves.